HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW.
As you stood there all hard and black I was afraid . I tried to get rid of you but you just kept coming back you were just so clingy you wanted to be with me but I never wanted you ,” get away from me your so ugly I cry”. After that you introduced me to your rugged stubbly gang and then came the invasion my god , thousands of your mates and some of them ginger took over my patch( it was curtains all right ). “ shoow ... go away “ but it was all in vain because I am vain and i've been trying to eliminate you from my hood every since .I am forever tormented by this bristly werewolf like scenario
Odd though I always thought why is this intrusion of ugly hair so many shades of colour? My hair is blond
Pubes yuck I hate them . Some folk love a bit of a fat bush I hear and they regularly pop to the Tuffty club to feast away at that furry cup of love only to return with a mouth full of brillo pad and an awful lot of fur ball. It does have its use though I guess and way back in prehistoric times one needed the protection down stairs what with all that survival stuff like charging around spearing fish and inventing the wheel etc , you may just bump pussy here and there so it was a kind of necessity to have that fluffy shield and crutch amour always present . Whip em off though, fuck them follicles I say and for the last twenty five years that's exactly what i've been doing. Prepare for a pubic onslaught of waxing ,plucking ,shaving , lassering and ripping out that bad boy bearded clam hair by the root and i staggered about my boudoir like John Wayne ,slapping on that cat piss smelling hair removal cream for years. When I was a young punk creating anarchy in the down below hair department imack was my god for a while . I kept a wee tuff and made a mini pink pubic mohican and when all back combed it looked dead fancy. As I yelped in pain I soon learnt that you must never attempt a matching look on your head with that imack not unless you want to sit in casualty looking like a sunburnt hard boiled egg ( why did I bother in the first place I looked like a flamingo anyway. ) but in the end I got bored and pube styling was all a bit of an effort as I regularly burnt my lips on the crimpers .Enough was enough I though , so one Monday at midday in may I merrily met up with the muff daddy master a Merkin mad man who maneuvers and modelled minge manes modestly and made me a magnificent pubic wig the finest that money could buy. Adding bit of glue here and trim and snip there ,behold a brand new crutch .I left the salon with a stick on pubic strawberry fanny wig and oh so soft .I stroked it all the way home on the Victoria line like a new pet pussy and there it stayed stuck until someone one said that it was indeed made out cat ,.dog hair and perhaps a real beaver even which kind of put me off . After that I was always aiming for a pubescent girl bald crutch look but ending up a plucked chicken fillet . I remember when i received my first posh lady shaver from Harrods it came in the post from an anonymous sender, all encrusted with diamonds and I had my own personalised number plate..wonderful this was a trimmer of all trimmers ..but I was a little paranoid .am I seen as a yeti then?no wonder I have no friend there on face book.
Turning it on I wandered if I been send a road drill by mistake ?I was wary and feared it may end as a scene from the Texas chain saw massacre and my noo noo cowered with fear at the sight of this chomping combine harvester which ploughed through the pubic wire like forest eliminating any existing life forms and there were high pitched screams from the occupants down below.( abandent ship women and children first ) and the odd cuckoo fled that birds nest too.
Wow ! this is razor is a cut above the rest I thought and I gathered up all the pubes in bin bags and made a lovely cushion for the end of the bed but worried it may not be fen shui enough? Only once did I actually leave the bush alone letting it grow free and wild and at one with nature and that was only out of financial desperation .I read in the stage HAIRY GIR LS WANTED for adult video fun and fur so I grow that multitude of multi coloured minge hair and tried to cope with my new afro 70s ewoke look which ran riot out the sides of my thong ,,, Rapunzal Rapanzal let down your hair and .I banished the bic ( a razor for peasants) to run off to new pastures hairy . I only lasted a month though ,keep the money bald is good i'm young fuzz free and single and forever smooth and shiny...it will always be a case of HAIR TODAY BUT DEFINATLY GONE TOMORROW ,
MOUSE..xxxxxx